Wishing you Excessive Greeting Disorder for the Holidays

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I love my bunny toy.

Marie is distracted with the passing of her parents, so I, Buddy the Goldendoodle Wonder Dog, am writing this guest post. I usually write a post for the holidays. This year, it’s just a bit earlier than usual.

Mistress Marie suggested that I write about two things she’s discovered about me over the years. I am seven now, so you would think she could have written about these things herself earlier. But no, she didn’t, so now I have to.

She claims I have Excessive Greeting Disorder (EGD). I get super-excited whenever somebody comes to our house, especially if they are somebody I know. I run (Marie uses the term “gallop”) through the first floor of the house, back and forth, from the window to the back door whenever somebody knocks.

I don’t think I have EGD because I do not jump up on the person when they come into our home. I am well-behaved. I just sniff them a lot and turn around in circles, wagging my tail and knocking over anything it hits. Sometimes I even smile. However, if the person doesn’t know me, they might think I am baring my teeth. Really, it’s a smile, not a snarl.

Marie also thinks I have EGD because whenever she leaves the house, even if it’s just to walk to the mailbox, and then she comes back inside, I always greet her. Not as enthusiastically as I would a friend or stranger, but still, I am happy to see her even if she’s only been gone for two minutes. This makes her laugh.

I think her ridicule of me for greeting her after a walk to the mailbox is misplaced. I am only trying to make her happy. And besides, I really do miss her for the whole 120 seconds she’s gone. It gives me time to wonder if she’ll ever return. It gives me time to fear that something happened to her on her trip to the bottom of our driveway. All sorts of catastrophes are possible. A bird could poop on her. A car could swerve over too far and crash into her while she’s standing at the mailbox. Another dog could come along and steal her away from me. I am so relieved and happy when she comes back! I would like to know what is wrong with that.

The other thing she wanted me to write about is my Life Motto. She claims that it’s: When in doubt, act like a goofball. She says it’s my motto because whenever I am uncertain or in a new situation, like seeing something strange in our yard (such as a snowman), or the first snow of the year, or meeting a neighbor who is holding some sort of tool I have never seen before, my first reaction is to run around in circles, with my legs bent at incredibly awkward angles.

I would like to explain that this is an entirely reasonable response to a first snow. What could be more fun than tearing around in circles in new snow?? And in terms of seeing snowmen or neighbors who are holding tools – these are threatening things and if I act like a goofball, that takes the threat away because it distracts everyone.

Since this is my holiday posting, I need to work that into the topic somehow. My holiday wish for you is that you greet your friends and relatives like you have EGD. We could all use more excessive greetings in our lives. And I encourage you not to fear acting like a goofball. It will make everyone laugh. And everyone needs more of that, too.

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4 thoughts on “Wishing you Excessive Greeting Disorder for the Holidays

  1. Hey Buddy,
    Greeting people is my job, too! Though some may beg to differ (Mike), I don’t believe it is excessive in the least.
    Season’s best!
    Nutmeg

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